Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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