I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
Randomize
