Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
zippers are such a cool invention
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Randomize
