i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Randomize
