He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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