Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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