Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize