I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
