Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
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