That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize