Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
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