i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Randomize
