hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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