You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
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