That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Randomize