Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
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