I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Randomize
