What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
Randomize
