i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Randomize
