its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
Randomize
