It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
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