I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Randomize
