omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Randomize
