Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
Randomize
