? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Randomize
