so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
