i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
Randomize
