My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
love makes seman taste better
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
