I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
She's not a foreskin expert like you
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
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