but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
My life is pants optional.
Randomize
