If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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