with your own penis?
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
Do vagina's smell?
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
Randomize
