If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Randomize
