She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Randomize
