i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Randomize
