fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
Randomize
