I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
