After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize
