totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Randomize
