So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
