how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Randomize
