I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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