We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
