I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Randomize
