He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
