doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
