I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Randomize
