Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Randomize
