im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize