yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Randomize
