I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Randomize
