bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
