there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
of course. lets lasso hookers.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Randomize
