if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Randomize
