Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
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