Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize