Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
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