i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
