marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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